The Connection conundrum

Everybody wants connection and everybody needs separateness.

Esther Perel

 

I saw this sentence yesterday in a Facebook ad for some kind of masterclass subscription. (Esther Perel is a prominent American psychotherapist and relationships expert, born in Belgium, the child of holocaust survivors.) These words spoke to me because they align with my experience. I believe this is a difficult truth. The connection part is more natural for me, while the separateness takes more effort and resolve. 

As beings we humans are uncomfortably binary. We naturally tend to think in blacks and whites, not greys. It’s perfectly possible for opposites to co-exist. When we are conscious of that we think with more nuance and treat complex things with the complexity of thinking they merit.